


I Am Become Death

by Pandagirl



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Rebellion Era - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Multi, Padmé Amidala Lives
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2019-04-04 23:50:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14031552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pandagirl/pseuds/Pandagirl
Summary: The galaxy has fallen to the emperor but she's not going down without a fight.





	1. Chapter 1

I didn’t die. That night. Maybe I should have. But I couldnt, I still cant, I can't leave them...or the galaxy. I have to finish what I went there to do. It’s our only hope.   
I went ahead with Obi-wan’s plan, to separate us. It's the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do but I know he’s right. I have to keep them safe above all else.

I can still feel his grip on my throat, his anger pouring over me. I swallow deeply trying to shake the feeling.

“Padme, we’ve got to go,” Obi-wan urgently reminds me, his hand on my shoulder.

“I know,” I whisper, “Goodbye Leia,” I look into her huge dark eyes and kiss her forehead, wondering if I’ll ever see her again. “Please take care of her Bail, as you have always helped me.”

“I will, she will be loved, I promise you that.”

“Thank you,” I say as I hand over my baby girl, not even a week old. “I’m ready now.” I let Obi-wan lead me back to our ship. I let the tears fall. 

“I will fix this,” I say with steel in my words. I can't stand by and let this galaxy fall to pieces.

“It’s already gone Padme, everything.” his voice filled with sorrow. I haven't asked him what happened that day, if Anakin was still alive even.

“No, its not. I still have hope.”

I collapse into a leather pilot chair and hold my head in my hands. I feel like my head will simply fall to pieces if I let go. 

“Please, go get some sleep,” Obi-wan tells me gently putting his hand on my shoulder. I cover it with my own.

“Thank you, I couldn't do this, any of this without you,” I head to my bunk. I lay down but can’t sleep. All I see is Ani. My husband, I see him holding me brushing my hair off my face like he did whenever I was worried about something. His wide open smile, that boyish head tilt that moved his curls out of his eyes. His eyes, warm and kind. Then tired and dark. Then bright and yellow like fire was burning them out of his skull. 

Next is Luke, and with him Obi-wan.

“Oh Luke, my star child,” I murmur to him quieting his cries and smoothing his sandy blonde hair. Stars, he looks so much like his father did when we first met. 

“I'll watch over him, Padme. He’ll be safe with me, and Owen, and Beru,” Obi-wan tries to calm me. “I'm sorry, Padme. May the force be with you,”

He takes the small child from my arms. I watch him leave the space port. He's not coming back. 

I'm alone. I need to go home.

I tried to blend in. to become one of the billions of refugees from the clone wars. I did return to Naboo, it was my home. Even though I was on a different continent than the one my family was, it felt right to be there. I was settled in a small coastal town. Refugees shared houses, trying to maximize resources. 

“You should come in and eat something Leanna,” my new housemate, Jaina suggested. “You’ve been sitting on that beach staring at nothing for hours.”

“I’ll be right in,”

She sat down next to me on the sand anyway. “So what's wrong? Man troubles?”

I don't even know what to say, the question is just too ridiculous for the situation. The tears just wash over me.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn't pry. I didn't mean to upset you.” she backpedals

“It’s okay, its not your fault,” I sputter at her, trying to gain control. “I’ve just had a bad couple of months,” I can't even tell what's happened, she cant even know my real name. 

“Was it the war? I know you said you had to leave your home because of it.”

“That's a part of it, yes. And i'm so thankful for all the help you've given me, helping me find a job.

“It's no problem, I know what's it like. Everyone's been affected by the war and we all need to help each other recover.” she says slightly leaning into me.

“If there had been more people like you in the Senate then maybe there wouldn't have been a war at all.” I sigh.

“Were you in the Senate?”

“I- Just as an aide” I can't lie entirely. I already feel like I've lost everything that made me.

“Why did you have to leave? I thought that there weren't any more battles on Coruscant.

“There isn't, it just still isn't safe anymore,”

“Are you really okay?” 

“Yes, of course. I'm sorry, let's go inside,” I try to shake off the seriousness.

Am I okay? I feel like I can't breathe. Like the world is upside down and I’m the only one who notices, who sees what's happening. What’s really happening. Everyone is excited for the war to end, and all too happy that that means the end of the jedi. They dont understand whats been done. What he’s done.

Months pass. I pick up some sand and let it slip through my fingers. 

“Luke, Leia, I know you can’t hear me but I need you to know something. I know you are far...far apart from me and each other, that you’re growing up in a galaxy that is dark and torn apart. But know that I love you both more than I’ve ever loved anything and I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe and to make sure you are loved. And someday I will bring us back together and you will know me and how much I love you. I will go across the stars to bring my family back to me, I promise you, my angels.

 

“What are you going to do today?” Jaina asks over breakfast.

“I’m going to overthrow the Empire,” I respond quietly.


	2. Chapter 2

“I'm sorry, what?” 

“I'm going to go to Theed today,”

“Theed? Can I go with you? I haven't been in ages,”

“I..guess. Of course, I'm just going to visit a friend,” I stutter.

“So who’s your friend?” she asks near the end of the flight to Theed. 

“Her name’s Sabé. We..we grew up together” I reply. 

“You gonna tell me why the urgency to see her now, you've been planetside for two months,” she questions.

“I finally figured out what I want to do, that's all. And I need her help.”

The ship lands at Theed. The city is exactly as I remember it. Stone pathways lead to and around grand water fountains. Beautiful townhouses with rows of flowering trees lining the paths. I can hear the familiar sound of waterfalls, tempting me to follow a memory, gritting my teeth I instead lead us to a cafe. 

“Why don't we eat something first?” I suggest, “I’ll go in and order, you grab us a table.”

Jaina nods then heads to a small table in the shade. I head inside. Thankfully the owner is the same. I order two cafs and some fruit and slip my note in with the credits. She nods then slips into the back. 

Even this is dangerous I realize, but I trusted them with my life before. Returning to Jaina I put my smiling senator face on again.

“It'll be just a minute, I ordered us some fruits and caf,” I say.

“Caf is always good,” she returns my smile. “So we just jumping your friend?”

“And hoping she still lives here,” I reply with a small laugh. 

In a minute a server brings us our drinks and snacks, and a small note for me. 

Five minutes. 

That's all it says. Thank the Maker, she's coming. With a deep breath of relief I begin to eat. Minute by minute passes, five, six, and then seven. Nerves flair again when finally, 

“Sabe!” I cry out seeing her walk up the same sidewalk we came from. 

“My L-- Leanna, I'm so glad to see you,” she cries back at me as I jump up and into her arms. “we thought you were dead. You were-”

“I know, I know. It's alright. I'll explain everything later, I promise,” I whisper in her ear. I pull back and give her a smile. 

“And who's your friend?” she asks, recovering her grace. She's still quick, good. We'll need that.


	3. Old Friends

“This is Jaina,” i gesture to her, “we’ve been roommates since I came home. Here, come sit and eat with us.” 

“What are the odds we’d run into you here?” Jaina asks once Sabé sits across from her. 

“Oh, my place is near here. I'm here almost every day.”

“I was hoping you still lived in the area,” I say, honestly. I haven't been home in a few years. 

We talk of the weather, work, and the war until we’re finished with our drinks. 

“Leanna, won't you stay with me, at least for a night? We have so much more to catch up on,” Sabé asks brightly. 

“Of course, I'm so glad I found you. Will you be all right to travel back alone, Jaina?” I ask her. She shrugs yes. 

“I'm just going to do some shopping then head back,” she says. 

We hug, then say our goodbyes. Jaina steps back, edging toward the market square.

“I'll see you tomorrow then?” she calls out. 

“Yes, tomorrow,” I promise, hand in hand with Sabé. We head down the path away from the cafe, walking in the shade of the blossoming trees.

“How have you really been, my friend?” I ask her. It's been over a year since I've seen her.

“I have been as well as I can be in these times. But more importantly, how are you alive? They held your funeral here in the capital, I walked….I walked in your procession,” she responds, her voice thick with emotion. 

“I don't know how they, Bail I think, arranged that. I was in hiding, I had to, I had to hide my children,” I say.

“Hide them? From who?” 

“From their father, Anakin Skywalker.” I confess. 

“General Skywalker? He's the father? I thought all the Jedi were executed?”

“Not Anakin, he's working with the new Emperor,” I explain.

“Where are the children now?”

“Hidden, until its safe. Together, Anakin would sense them. They're so strong,” I say with a bittersweet smile, fighting tears. No more. “Right now, they think our children died with me and they need to. He’s twisted Anakin, I don't know what he would do to them,” I explain, rubbing my neck against phantom pain. 

“So what are we going to do?” 

“We?”

“My Lady I'm with you always,” she takes my hands again, stopping to level her gaze at me. “I thought I lost you once. So what are we going to do?” she asks seriously and slowly. 

“We are going to get the rest of the girls, and then we’re to restore the Republic and freedom to this galaxy,” I say. It feels so good to say it out loud and to not be alone. You’re going to be safe, Luke, Leia, I promise like a prayer, over and over again. I promise.


	4. Chapter 4

“They should be here by now,” Sabé says, worried. She lingers by the window of her apartment, waiting.

“Most of us are,” I remind her, trying to encourage her. “Dormé, Eirtaé, Hollé, Karté, and Yané are here.” 

“Things are harder, even here, my Lady. They may have not believed the message or didn't want to get involved,” Dormé adds from her seat at the table. The others all sit around her.   
“It’s Padmé, please,” I ask, walking over to them. “I'm not your Lady anymore. I'm asking for your help, as your friend and as someone who can not stand by and allow this galaxy to fall into Palpatine’s hands.” 

“And we’re here because we want to be, because we believe in the Republic too,” Rabé adds, speaking for the first time since we all gathered together. I'm so grateful for them, I could cry. 

“I don't understand how we’re going to do anything though,” Yané exclaims suddenly, standing up. “The Republic is gone.” 

“We have to take the power away from Palpatine and return it to the Senate,” I argue. 

“How?” Hollé asks, throwing her hands up. 

“First, we get the support of key Senators, as well as some military personal, to help with the transition back,” I explain the bare bones of what we need to do. 

“And Vader? He's the Emperor’s watchdog these days,” Yané reminds everyone. 

“Vader, I will deal with,” I answer, cursing the crack in my voice. 

“How?”   
“You can’t!"  
“He’s a Sith!” 

Objections flow from them all, except Sabé. 

“He’s Anakin,” I spit out through a clenched jaw. 

Their silence is worse than their arguments. 

“And he’s completely loyal to Palpatine now?” Rabé half asks. I can only nod. 

“Not you, not at all?” Sabé asks, her pity evident. 

“Not anymore. But I have a plan,” I try to reassure them. Even though I'm not sure of my own plan. It's risky, but then he always did prefer a bold move. 

“I don't know how we’re going to make this happen without losing our heads….but I trust you,” Hollé finally says. The others nod, following her lead. 

“So what’s our actual first move?” Yané inquires. 

“Getting support, we go to Alderaan in two days,” I answer, excited to get moving.


	5. Chapter 5

_Jaina, I'm sorry this is so last minute. I'm going to stay in Theed with friends for a while longer. Thank you for all you did for me, you've been a true friend in a difficult time._

I send the holovid, hoping it's enough. There isn't time for more. Every moment has been spent getting all the paperwork for offworld travel together and finding enough ships for everyone to go alone or in pairs. Just in case someone was watching. I am about to see my daughter, I tell myself using that promise to steel my nerves. 

“Are these the last of the bags?” I call from the doorway to Sabé. 

“Yes, the rest have gone ahead with the girls,” she yells back. Coming down the stairs, she looks like I feel. 

“Everything is locked up. Our ship leaves soon, we’re the last ones,” she rambles. 

“Yes, Rabé left this morning. It’ll be okay,” I say. Together we leave her house and head to the port. And to Leia. 

Together we sit in our cabin, waiting out the flight to Alderaan. 

“Why didn't you tell me about Skywalker?” Sabé asks quietly, sitting next to me on the bed. 

“I couldn't. I wanted to. I should've,” I sigh, “I was afraid. Anakin could've been expelled from the Order. My work could've been damaged.” I can't help but laugh. “That sounds ridiculous. I'd give anything to be dealing with those problems instead of these.”

She doesn't respond, only gives me a soft smile. 

Brushing away a small tear I push on. “I should've told you, I'm sorry. Fear and love really do make fools of us all.” 

“Just like our teacher always said,” she says. 

The ship suddenly shifts, dropping out of lightspeed. Alderaan.


End file.
